The Outline
Brandy Jensen
NBC must release all 20 seasons of ‘Law & Order’
Under quarantine, the people will be divided into two separate yet equally important groups: Those who know how to handle long stretches indoors, and those who do not. We both need our stories. DUN DUN.
I feel like a failure for wanting to pack up and move home
Should I keep trying to make a life and career in a city I don’t like?
We deserve a president who shops at Ross
Paying full retail is for suckers and despots.
My boyfriend shared a private photo of me with his friends
I want to move past this, but is it a giant red flag?
Do I tell my boyfriend I love him even though I’m moving away?
We agreed not to do a long-distance relationship, but I’ve changed my mind about what I want.
British children are haunted
Henry James knew it and now you do too.
I wish my single life was enough for me
How do I learn to love what I already have?
I watched too many videos about cute pigs and now I want to stop eating them
How do I remember to hold the bacon?
I want to forgive my partner for cheating
He denies it even happened, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
Have I been using my depression as a crutch?
I’ve done a lot of work to feel better, but now I’m afraid to fail.
I got my life together and now I’m constantly bored
Is this really what being an adult is like?
Canon fodder
Please, I am begging you, stop telling me which good books are actually bad.
AAFU: I have a crush on an artist I’m bankrolling
How do I ask her out without making things weird?
AAFU: I begrudge my ex her success
Am I a shitty person if I can’t just be happy for her?
AAFU: I’m 23 and have nothing to look forward to
What’s the point when the future seems so bad?
AAFU: How do I save money?
I am finally in a position to get myself out of debt, but I don’t know how to stop spending frivolously.
AAFU: I’m recently separated and scared about dating
How do I broach the topic of my recent marriage with new people?
AAFU: Should I end things with my much-younger partner?
I think it might be better to save ourselves pain in the future.
AAFU: Am I over my ex?
I have a great new relationship, but I am still annoyed when I hear about him.
AAFU: Someone told me my best friend is a rapist
I’ve cut off all contact, but he still wants to know why.
AAFU: How can I stay friends with someone who rejected me?
I know she doesn’t owe me a romantic relationship, but it’s still hard to be around her.
AAFU: I slept with my best friend’s boyfriend
I feel terrible. How do I get her to forgive me?
AAFU: My brother is dating a teenager
How do I convince him this relationship is inappropriate?
AAFU: I just found out my boyfriend is pro-life
Is this a dealbreaker?
Everything should take 20 minutes
It’s the ideal amount of time for all tasks.
AAFU: I can’t tell if my wife is depressed or just lazy
She insists everything is fine but I’m not so sure.
AAFU: How do I let go of my marriage?
I want to save our relationship, but I don’t think my wife does.
AAFU: I wish I was closer with my brother
I feel guilty that he seems to be struggling.
AAFU: My friends are hanging out without me
How do I bring this up without sounding petty?
AAFU: My boyfriend of two years ghosted me
How do I get the closure I deserve?
AAFU: Is my brother practicing self-care or just being selfish?
Therapy is great but I worry he is taking the wrong lessons.
I can’t tweet for one week and it’s killing me
I can't believe I got put in twitter jail for sharing a good opinion when I have so many bad ones.
AAFU: How do I date after divorce?
My new relationship seems great, but I keep thinking I will make the same mistakes again.
Hot chocolate is wasted on children
There are so few (legal, not self-destructive) adult-only indulgences. This should be one.
AAFU: I’ve been lying to my friend
Do I owe her the truth about my new relationship with a man we both know?
AAFU: My work nemesis has cancer
Should I put the past behind us?
AAFU: I’m still in therapy. Should I be dating?
At what point is someone done working on their issues?
AAFU: My housemate’s rude family invaded my home
Can I murder him?
AAFU: I’m ashamed of being so broke
How can I stop comparing myself to my rich sisters?
AAFU: My girfriend’s mother wants a store-bought Thanksgiving
I love to cook, how do we convince her not to bring a turkey?
AAFU: I’m not as smart as everyone said I was
I was a gifted kid, so how do I deal with being an average adult?
AAFU: I don’t have any friends
I just moved to a new city and work all the time. How do I cope with loneliness?
Withholding sex from bad men won’t fix anything
Lysistrata my ass!
Dear Fuck-Up: Should I apologize to the women I hurt?
Will it bring them closure or simply reopen old wounds?
Dear Fuck-Up: How do you tell a stranger their partner is cheating?
On when to share a secret.
Dear Fuck-Up: How do I make myself productive?
I’m worried that I am ruining my future.
Armie Hammer could be the world’s most prolific serial killer
Let me explain.
Dear Fuck-Up: How do I tell someone I love them?
And what if they don’t say it back?
Dear Fuck-Up: I feel like I’m falling behind my peers
Is it too late to have the life I want?
Dear Fuck-Up: My boyfriend can’t manage his “anxiety”
Should I try harder to understand him?
Dear Fuck-Up: How do you kindly break up with someone?
Tips for what to do when you know it’s over.
Dear Fuck-Up: How do you live when everything sucks?
It’s bad out there.
Dear Fuck-Up: I don’t think my friend’s chronic illness is real
Is this the end of our friendship?
Dear Fuck-Up: With special guest Neko Case
Neko Case helps answer a question about the hazards of falling in love online.
Dear Fuck-Up: I can’t stop mentioning my ex
Is there any way to fully escape your past?
Dear Fuck-Up: I fall in love too fast
Is there a better way to follow my feelings without getting hurt?
Dear Fuck-Up: I behaved poorly and now I feel bad
A note regarding acceptable behavior
Dear Fuck-Up: I hate my friend’s loser husband
How to tell your best friend she married the wrong guy.
Dear Fuck-Up: Can people change?
This week, a Fuck-Up takes on men with very shady pasts.
Dear Fuck-Up: I feel left out
This week, a Fuck-Up tackles what to do when your friends move on.
Introducing: Ask a Fuck-up
Our new advice columnist refuses to learn from her mistakes, but maybe you can.
Seamless wants to turn you into a sociopath so you order more Seamless
No, Seamless, it’s not cute when someone demands a tiny meal for their hamster.
When is pasta more than pasta?
An instantly iconic ‘Vanderpump Rules’ scene sparks a debate over the words we use to mean “cocaine.”
