Okay, so, here's a controversial opinion that will likely anger some people. You don't have to say anything. Ever. About anything. Ever. Especially if you're a man.

Here’s the thing. We do have “free speech” here in America, which means you can say whatever you want as long as you are not insulting a private corporation. Some more charitable readers might say that the above tweet is honest, or even raw — a raw look at a man grappling with himself and the havoc men have wreaked on the world. But also, you don't need to say anything. Ever.

Yeah, not the best time to say this. In fact, you didn’t have to say anything. Wait: Even better. You could have just whispered something like this to a speck of dust. Then you still would have been able to say it — and experience the particular catharsis of verbal expression — but no one would have had to read it on Twitter.com. It would have remained between you and the non-sentient speck of dust. Very special.

Haha! Good one. I love jokes.

Wow! Another good one. “You are... comic?” —Aleksandr Petrovsky

I... um... ?????????

No.

It actually goes back to Adam? Of Adam and Eve?

“Don’t speak.” —Gwen Stefani

TMI.

Remember: Even though you have the right to free speech and expression as an American, you don’t EVER have to talk! And that’s a good thing.

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